I just read an article on a Tiwaneese director who made a film that  people in *Hollyweird*are suposedly raving about.

It is called Brokeback Mountain.

It is a *Love story(there words not mine) of two homosexual Cowboys*

GIVE ME A BREAK!

Did they have to attack the basic ultra-american male maculine symbol of our west? The cowboy? Think John Wayne?Imagine the Duke not getting the girl but the guy? Not very all american.

They just had to make a gay Cowboy film, huh?

What a bunch of cinimatic trash.

Before y'all go calling me homophobic or rascist or whatever,let me state my beleifs plain and clear.

1.) I do NOT condone homosexuality.The Lord calls this a sin. PERIOD.

*Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman,this is DETESTIBLE* Lev 18:22

*IN the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflmaed with lust for one another.Men commited Indecent acts with other men,and received inthemselves the due penalty for their perversion.*Romans 1:27

2.) I love all homosexuals as Gods creations and i pray for them to find peace with the Lord and stop the sinning.

3.)I do NOT beleive this is a *genetic thing*

To me this is an excuse crated by homosexuals to defend there lifestyles.There has been absolutly NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE to support the claim that being homosexual is a genetic condition, therefore that only leaves a choice to engage in homosexual activities either due to trauma, faith issues, societal peer pressure,or an obvious cry for attention due to rebellion.

4.)I do NOT beleive in Gay Civil-Unions or Gay marriage. 

I beleive it is a step towards a place we do not have the moral right to go.Our laws from the founding of this country have always stated that same sex marriges or unions are unlawful, and in most states even the practice of sexual relations between two same sex partners is on the books as unlawful.If you don't beleive me look up the laws regarding sodomy in your state.

5.) I beleive that marriage is deemed by God to be between one man and one woman.

Whats next? Civil-Unions with the parteners being Humans and Animals?If you think i am kidding,check Canada.

and furthermore....Don't tell me how how *moving*, and how*wonderful*,this*love story* is....its an abberation of nature and Gods design.

Homosexuality in all forms is a twisted take on what God made to be a beautiful  gift of love and faithfulness between a man and a woman who are married to become one for joy,pleasure,procreation, and to become closer to God.

If i want to see a movie I will take my family to go see Narnia again.Gods Light shone from this wonderful,moving,love story.(yes love story.Gods love for us)I was very well pleased with the possitive message to our children contained in this movie.

As for me I have to ask the question: What is this country coming too?

 And furthermore,where are we LETTING it go when we celebrate this kind of movie with awards? What kind of message does that tell our children about Gods design? Since when did we let the Ultra Liberals ,ACLU, GLAD,and the Femi-nazis destroy one by one our treasured american symbols like the legands of our pioneering Cowboys with sexual perversion?

Feel free to comment or disagree with me as you wish, but this is my beleif and I stand by it.

Yeah,so i lied.I am reading other blogs. sue me.

Anyways.....

I have seen these Friday Fun Facts on a few blogs lately too, like Laurel (Adventures of Bipolar Girl). If ya haven't seen her blog yet,you should.

Back to subject.

 Hey, i can do these things.

Here goes nothing.

1.) My eyes change color from light blue to black when i am pissed, and to greenish when am really excited.

2.) My first pets name was Tootsie,she was a dog that we found on the side of the road after she got hit by a car. Tootsie was the best dog ever for about 10 years,until she got hit by another car.(living on a highway sucks.)

3.)My favorite movie is still *The Neverendng Story* like it was when i was kid.Dirty Dancing comes second.(*Nobody puts Baby in a corner.*lol) and runners up are 50 first dates and all six Star Wars.

4.) I speedread(or skim) a page at a time of everything i read, then read the page slowly and fully over on every page of everything i read.(OCD strikes again.)

5.) I still get butterflies when my husband kisses me or holds my hand.(I think that's nice after 7 years don't you?)

So, how was that?

Wouldn't it be fun if we all tired some of these?

Hey you,reading this,go blog your Friday Fun Facts.lol

Yes,I know; I have been a bad girl and not posted since Thursday.

Slaps hand.(ouch that hurts!)

I have an excuse really.

Went to the E.D.(emergancy department)yesterday and found out i have Bronchitis.

I'm thrilled.

I feel like i have won some darn award or something.

*bronchitis for me!? oh you hate me! you really hate me! i don't know what to say! i accept this inhaler on behalf of all those others out there who want me to breathe all overthem! "cough cough"how can i ever thank you enough!?*

i think the anti biotics might be making me a bit loopy?

Spent my 7th wedding annniversary Thurday in classes away from hubby and then spent all day on our day off from school in bed sick.

Ain't life grand?

there's always next year,he isn't going anywhere.

this is the sickness or health part for all of those who forgot there marrige vows....trust me thereis far more of the sickness than you think.

well,here it is 2:30 in the morning on Satuday and i am up because i cannot sleep due to caughing up my lungs onto the bedsheets.well,maybe just one landed on the comforter. think i scared the cat. she's a pretty old lady so i hope she didn't have some kityy heart attack or something.

thats all i need,a kitty heart attack victim due to coughed up lungs.

i think a little chocloate pudding to coat my sore throat, (yes it does work) some orange,passionfruit,ginger, green tea with a dash of honey, and a nice halls drop and i should be back on my way to bed soon.

i hope anyway.

I would go now but i know my lazy sleepy self,i would fall asleep with the cough drop in my mouth and choke,honestly.

I haven't had a darn cold in years since i  moved to Florida,and then i move to this freezing state and i get sick.

I hate Nude Hampster.

I wanna go home to Florida.

I am checking my blog regularly like metemucal, even when i feel to crappy to write and i find myself reading other blogs much more lately than i used to.I do see all your nice comments and i appriciate them all.

thanks!

I told the Professor (of the afore mentioned dillard post) that i have a blog. then i told him he would have to find it for himself. 

ain't i a pain in the toocus?(did i spell that right?oh well. i never did win a spelling bee. although why they want bees to spell is beond me,making honey for us tea drinkers seems fullfilling enough i would think?)

what fun would it be if i told him the name of my blog and where to find it? theres no adventure in that is there?

with the clues he got from me concerning the blogs contents i am sure he will have no problems finding this. i am not exactly a matter of national security.

besides,i think he just wants to see what i wrote about him.

Hey Prof....if ya found me..... HELLO! nice detective work.

ha ha ha.That WAS fun.

hey, i gottta have some kicks somewhere don't i?

gotta make the fun where ya can cause sometimes it don't find you.fun can be work ya know.

i am gonna go put my lung back in my chest so my poor old cat can come back to her pillow without freaking out, and try to at least get a few small winks in before the brats wake up.

If i don't get some rest soon i will have so many rings under my eyes they will be counting them to find out my age.

wish me luck.

 

 

 

 

I have been thinking today.

I know,it's a real scary thing for me to be thinking isn't it?

It happens, i swear!

I have been thinking about you today Jesus, and how you have severely changed my life.

I look back at who i used to be and i don't know her anymore.

I have to thank Humble Servant for this,by the way. And  Laurel for posting the link of the interveiw that Humble did with the canadian tv show*100 Huntley Street* that I had to check out.

WOW.

Thanks Laurel !

There is no way i would be sitting here right now,in this place in my life without your hands guiding me my beloved Christ.

No Doubts.

I have been thinking about just over 5 years ago when you came into my heart in that little warehouse church in the mountains of North Carolina.I was pregnant with the son you gave me,and had just gotten back together with my husband after a very painful seperation.

I was a mess.

No,worse than a mess,i was a trainwreck. with casualties.

There was nowhere for my life to go.i had no direction,no purpose,no balence and no foundation for anything i did. I remeber thinking just days before this*why do i even breathe?*

At this point in my life my marrige was on such shaky ground it was an earthquake.All of my beleifs were now uncertain,all the things my life had been now didn't make sense.

I had been a practicing witch for just over 12 years at that time. My husband and i had a violent,argumentitive,painful marrige. Almost all of this on my side of the blanket. I hit,i screamed, i swore and i made sure i was the victim with him as much as i had been either by my own choice or by others my whole life.

thats what i was,a victim.

My cousin  handed me this title when he molested me.My step brother reassured me of this when he took the torch from my cousin.my fisrt step father continued the tradition when he beat me as a pre teen and teen.my first husband and a string of loosers hand chosen by me for the first part of my adult life were happy to oblige as i handed them the reins.

beat me,cheat on me,its okay! i am a victim, i deserve nothing more.

that was how i saw myself.

after 4 failed suicide attempts i was sure i was worth nothing.i couldn't even succede at killing myself! talk about worthless! thats what i saw in the mirror.

BUT YOU DIDN'T.

Even when i didn't know it, you were  there right beside me. How else did i come through those attempts alive?You were  crying with me,aching to embrace me,to take away the pain you wanted to share with me and not just feel with me.

but i didn't let you.i pushed you away.

 i didn't need a savior!

no,not me! I had to take the HARD road.

Power,thats what i thought i needed.

drugs,drinking,sex,witchcraft....yeah,those.if its wrong then it must mean that its right for me!

Who needed the hypocracy i saw in the churches my dad went to? Didn't they kick him out when my faithless cheater of a mother destroyed his life? Didn't these so called Christians turn their backs on him when he needed them?

If thats the love of God,I didn't need it.

Submit? Submission means slavery doesn't it? haven't i been a slave to Men all my life? slaves get raped.slaves get beaten. isn't that what i have always had?

I will drink at bars with my *cool* mom at 14.I will dress provacativly and attract men for mom,drive her home when she is drunk in the back seat making out with mr. right now while i am  uncomfotably laughing.

Thats it. This is the life huh?

I will experiment with drugs and get wasted away from life.

Numb. thats what  i need,right?

Mom says its okay to have sex in her house and get married at 17?

Lets do it.

Don't listen to the warnings of Dad and Jean. Jean doesn't love me,she just wants to be *buddies* with me so she can get good with dad. How could she love THIS?

Noone does.I am discusting.rude.trash.used.damaged.

BUT YOU DID.

Thank You Lord for the gift of my child then.

Thank you for this little life who in her eyes i saw hope.

I saw YOU.

I couldn't be so awful to have such joy,blessing, and beauty...could I?

Thank You for putting it in my heart to move away. To get a new start.

Thank You for the gift of my husband that day Seven years ago tommorow,A man who was reaching for you and held my hand out in the same direction.

Thank You for us having no TV and only a radio that played Christian Music on the only station that came in.

Thank You for bedrest during my pregnancy with Lexie that made it imposible not to listen to that radio.

Thank You for you words,your songs,you hand reaching for my heart.

I even thank you for the seperation because i know it was your will making me take stock of all of the things i had done,all the things i thought were right and breaking me down to the point i dcould only look for light in my darkness.

thank you for showing me your light.

I still remeber that morning when i looked outside and sw the trees moving,the wind was blowing the grass and i thought* why do i worship these things? someone made these things. i didn't do it. i can't do it.who did? why? why am i not worshiping whatever that is? why do al the things i have done make me feel wrong now? why is there a hole in my heart? my soul? what goes there? nothing fits!something needs to change.*

you started to open my heart that day didn't you?

thank you for revelations.

I thawed that day.the ice melted and the stone of my heart shattered.your love warmed my soul.

i will forever praise and worship you for the wonderful things you did that day.

and for every second since then i have felt your touch on my life.

You are blessing every point of my life.

like mary mary says* you broke the chains now i can lift my hands, and i am gonna praise you*

you were with me in that church when i knelt down in front of the congragation with my arms shaking,my legs weak,my head bowed and my tears streaming.

you took it away.

you made me clean.white as fresh fallen snow. pure.

a year later in that beachside Florida chapel you washed me in the water of baptismal.and then you washed my husband in the same pool.down with the old disaster, and up with your princess!

thank you for shared joy.

a few months later you came into my little Marissa's heart.

The faith of a child is a blessing to see.

I am living my dreams.

i am in college.yep! the stupid one isn't so stupid after all. You don't make stupid do you?

I CAN acheive because you hold me up , catch me when i fall,and i know no matter what anyone says,or has said about me the only things that matter are what YOU say about me.

i am smart.

i am special.

i will succede.

i am a princess....after all,my father IS the king of kings!

my family is reunited! happily!I never thought i could find such peace,joy and freinship  in my earthly fathers house.

i now have the REAL mother you sent me all along in Jean.i see your gift now. She DID love me. She DOES love me! now i have the example of what and who i want to be like in your eyes as a godly woman of your heart.

did i thank you for her? I will thank you for the rest of my days for her.

i KNOW you are here. i feel you here. i see you everywhere.

every love song i hear reminds me of you.

every rainbow shows me your promises.

Amazing Grace.

I know its real now.

 

Here i am sitting in the library area and all my homework is done.

I feel weird for being as old as i am sitting at school mesing around on the computer while i wait for my next classt ostart in a half anfd hour!

so is life.

i am weird.

Had the dreaded A&P clas again last night,took my first exam.

BOMB!

Now i know what it is like to fail your first college exam!

Oh well. I am very depressed at the moment because i can't beleive that after a week straight of studying every day for at least a hour on this one class i could look at the exam and see nothing that i knew!

Add in the fact that i have now completed the second month without my meds,and y9u have a great day.

At least this is a short day and i get to go home and pick up my son and have some mommy and me time alone with him.

I think we will make some brownines? maybe with nuts and choc chips and some coconut on top...?

Doesn't that sound tasty?

Thank God i have bible study tonight,because i always feeel higher in my spirits when i get to study the word of God wth other ppl at church.

Time to head on to class....

More later i guess.