Well, today was Seans funeral.

I guess it is a testement to how you lived and loved by how many people show up for your last party.

I am so blessed to say that the funeral for Sean Willis today was packed. There were no less than a Hundred people at this little gathering. Sean touched so many peoples lives in so many ways.

There were many tears shed,many laughs as we remembered ,many jokes as we wondered out loud what Sean would think of this. Boy would he have been happy too see all of us there togther again! Long emotional Hugs and repeated* I can't beleive this is happening,this can't be real* were hanging around all of us like heavy clouds this morning.

When the we all settled we shared our memories of his life,his smile,his laugh,his jokes,stories of his pranks and follies,and mostly of his HUGE heart for all those who loved him and the compasion for those who hurt him.

It was beautiful.

The sun shone down on our remembereance as if God was telling us it was alright, HE has him now.

 I have to say my favorite part of the day was after the service was when most everyone left for the Foresters Club and it was just the core group of us left,maybe 12 or 15 of us at most. We took our small gifts of things Sean loved and placed them in the ground with him. A cd,some flowers,pictures,poems,hunting knives,and a few other things(you know) that Sean would have wanted to be with. We all dug our hands in the dirt and slowly we took  handful by handful  of soft earth and buried him with our love mixed in the dirt. It was a very emotional and personal experience for me.I don't think I was the only one who felt this way.

I miss Sean so terribly. My heat feels like there is this void.And empty space that cann't be filled until I can reach heaven and hear Sean laugh again. I am not done crying yet, And I don't intend to stop anytime soon.I don't have to,its Seans day.

I think it was Josh who said that we all have our Quota of wonderful and loving things to do for others in this life; how many people we should forgive,trust,love and care for.  Sean just was so wonderful and had such a big heart it was to big for this world anymore to contain.He filled up his quota and then some so he had to go to heaven and let the rest of us start on our sagging quotas.He was to good to be here any longer...

I want to share a poem of Seans on this Public arena for all to read how talented he was and how insightful of a person he was.This poem also shows how much loss we all feel about him right now. 

Hurts

by: Sean Michael Willis

I love your smile

for it I'd walk a mile

I feel your teary eyes

when we said our goodbyes

I feel your eyes upon me

I don't have to turn around to see

I am hurt this night

hopefully it will end by night

 

 

I am very lost.I feel like I am sinking.This *pit* of depression is swollowing me whole.

I want to rant at God for taking Sean so soon. I want to shout to give him back! It isn't fair! why are there so many awful rotton people left here on this stinking pile of rock called Earth HE could take but HE takes the wonderful ones insted?

Sean should be here! He never had an unkind or rotton thin to say for anyone! EVER!He was a truely good person,and those are rare. It isn't fair! I feel like I am screaming inside and noone hears me, espessially God.

 Why did God take Sean? Why? It doesn't make any sence to me.No amount of *he is with the angels* is making me stop hurting.He WAS an angel! Didn't God see that?

Why is it we all woke up Friday to screw up over and over again but he didn't wake up? We got to have children,spouses,jobs.Those were his dreams! why couldn't he have had them? I just want to crawl in bed and cry and never come out.

Life sucks right now,and I hate it.

 

~*~ Tonight I wanna cry -- Keith Urban ~*~

       Sean Michael Willis

* October 3, 1978 ~ April 21,2006 *

A wonderful and caring friend.

A sweet and sensitive cousin.

I am listening to to Far Away by Nickleback and all I see is your face.

How is that when we all woke up today,you didn't?

How is it a heart as big and full of love as your was could just stop beating? Much less attack?

You were taken from us WAY to soon. You never even saw your 30th birthday.

I know you are in the arms of the Lord Jesus right now,and I am thankful that you found him when you did. I am so glad that we had that talk a when I moved back to town and shared that we had both found our Savior. I have peace in knowing your starting your eternity of happiness with God.

I will always remember all the times we drove around town in your toyota truck doing the *Newport 500* from the Ames/Mc Donald's parking lot to the high school and back talking on our CB radios. Riding from one parking lot to another cause the cops didn't want us *tresspassing* or *loitering* anywhere to long.

The smile on your face and the way you cried when you held newborn Marissa,your new little cousin, in your big arms when you came to see us in the hospital will always be in my heart.You were the first one to hold her after my parents. Did you know how much that little baby loved you? She always smiled when she saw your face above her playpen.

I remember all the silly things we did!(And the downright stupid things, too!)

Taking a boatride when the Sugar River overflowed and flooded the Horsey Park in a *borrowed* canoe and getting it stuck on the Jungle Gym.

 One of my fave times was when I lived right above the pizza place on main street with Ellen. We had that big huge blizzard snow storm and we made anatomically correct snowmen (complete with racy thong underwear and a nice lacy bra!) on the little roof of the candy shop outside my window.We made snowballs and threw them at your Toyota truck on the street below. We laughed all night long!

I remember hanging out together with you, the *twin tower*Brayley's Tim and Tom,Ellen,Stiffy,Pete and *Big*  Pete Lamer, picking on Lonny's  *Blueberry* car (its a saffire darn it!)at Hazlatt's Park by the covered bridge.

I still vividly remember the day we were hanging out at Hazlatt's and the Police burnt the pot feild up in Croyden!What idiots! We all got the smoke that drifted down the hills on the wind! What a HIGH day that was for most of the town!

You and me and the *twin towers*riding around in your truck all summer long and going to Pollards Mills to swin (freezing our buts off in the icy water) and ripping our shorts sliding down the waterfall.

I still laugh when I think about *Eva the 10 ton cupcake and the 100 crack*AKA Peter and his pants slipping so far down due to no belt that that cop fined him a hundred bucks for mooning him and called it indecent exposure when Peter bent over!

You always laughed like the pilsburry dough boy when someone poked ya in the tummy.Thats why we started to call you biscuit! You were always laughing.

Most of all I remember your compasion and your sensitivity.

More than once you had to console me after doing something stupid in following my heart.

And I you in return.

You always cared about others more than you did about yourself.

You were laughter in times of sorrow.

You were a shoulder when one of us needed to cry.

You always knew how to take care of us when we needed help,the *goto*.

I wil always know my life was bettered by having you in it.

I am sorry you weren't there more.

Say *HI* to our 3 other friends, Karen, Danny, and Tara, who went before you for the rest of us still down here missing them as much as we already miss you.

We will always remember you big guy,for the biggest thing about you was your heart.

We love you Sean. 

We will see you again.

 

 

~*~ Photograph & Far away--Nickleback ~*~

~*~ When I get where I'm Going--Brad Paisley~*~

 

Ever just feel like you can't catch up and everything is always in an" OH CRAP!" kinda mode?

I feel like that lately. The end of the semester is dawning on me in a few weeks. Its do good or fail time. My brain ain't working. I cannot seem to comprehend and retain ANYTHING lately. I am brain farting all the time. I don't think the 'Lithium Clause' can quite cover all of this? 'OH, CRAP'?

Add to all that: I am sick. Yes, again! Darn New Hampshire weather! I want to go home to Florida!I never got sick in Florida. Since I moved here it seems I get sick everytime I get well again from something else. The girls brought home this LOVELY little intestinal bug that makes you sit on the pot and strain,cry, and have painful tummy cramps for nothing but tiny squirts...oh yes I know,TMI.....but it hurts so bad! I have to miss out on class tonight because I have to be in and out of the bathroom to much and I will disturb class and in effect learn nothing and bother everyone who is trying to do that as well.Darn it! 'OH, CRAP'?

The kids started their April vacation yesterday. Woohoo. a whole week of all my kids all day! Now Why in the world woudn't that be heaven on earth? GIVE ME A BREAK! Whoever invented school vacations out to be shot and quartered! They should be in school every day except sunday all year long! Yes, I am kidding....or am I? Anyways, They are here all week with no school.. 'OH, CRAP'?

 

Uh Oh !  Back to the throne.......hopefully 'OH, CRAP' !!

 

 "Say to the daughter of Zion,

see,your king comes to you,

 gentle and riding on a donkey,

on a colt,on the foal of a donkey."

 Matthew 21:5  

 "They brought the donkey and the colt, placed their cloaks on them, and Jesus sat on them.  A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road.  The crowds that went ahed of him and those that followed shouted:

 "Hosanna to the Son of David!

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!

Hosanna in the highest!"

 Matthew 21:7-9

 For all my Brothers and Sisters in Christ-

 May you all have a Blessed and wonderful Palm Sunday!

 In HIS love,

RED

 

~*~ Arise My LOVE - Newsong ~*~

1.)  I didn't Graduate with my class in High School.

I quit High School (Don't EVER do this stupid thing !TRUST ME!)with 3 months left in my senior year because I got married to my High School sweetheart.He was military and it was during the first Gulf War,so I moved to an Air Force base in NJ.I got my GED in '96.(Right after I divorced him...)

2.)  I named my oldest Daughter after a picture of a porcelin doll.

I was pregnant with my first child and I had NO IDEA what I was going to name her.I had gone through lists and books of names but nothing seemed to feel right. One day I was sitting in the waiting room reading a magazine when I saw the most precious little blond blue eyed porcelin doll picture. The doll was a little girl child about the age of 2. The hair and eyes looked just like my Dads and the smile was so adorable I melted. The dolls name was *Marissa* and I had never met or knew of a Marissa so I ripped it out and that is what I named my daughter.I still have the picture in her baby book.

3.)  I put mayonaise on pretty much EVERYTHING!

I like mayo on my baked beans,turkey dogs,chicken,turkey burgers,mashed taters,biscuits,ect ect... you get the picture. YUMMMY!

4.)  I  like the smell of formaldahide.

I just seem to like the smell of disecting things,labs,ect. I didn't have to *cheat* and put on a mask ,put vapo-rub under my nose,or  chew on pepermint candy during Anatomy disection lab last week. Yes, I know...I am a strange person.

5.)  I  Have Obsesive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

My closet is in color order and sectioned out by object and description.I aphebetize my canned goods and bathroom products.I MUST change the toilet paper roll in ANY bathroom I am in no matter where it is so that the paper comes out of the roll on top,not underneath. Everything has its place and there is a place for everything.....Yes, I am a nut, I have it on paper.